This one is extra short because I should be doing work right now, but I wanted to revisit a point from a previous post. Coffee makes you poop. This was made brutally apparent on my recent airport excursions between Buffalo and Phoenix, and more specifically by my inability to avoid using airport bathrooms. I hate airport bathrooms for two reasons. The first and least relevant reason is that they are used by hundreds of people from all over the country and the world, each of them carrying a unique cocktail of diseases that they spread over everything they touch. And even if you're as crafty as I, you still always end up touching something in those bathroom-disease-pits. The second and most relevant reason is that the men's bathroom is always filled (FILLED) with suit-coat wearing uptight businessmen that are unleashing stressed, angry, coffee-inspired toilet-catastrophes all around you. It is just awful. I'm sure that this is not the case in the lady's room because women obviously do not ever fart or poop.
To the airline-veteran wearers of suit-coats: lay off the beanjuice when traveling for your own good and for the safety, sanctity and comfort of us all.
I think I probably use hyphens too much, but they are just so damn handy!